“Let's have a toast for the Scumbags

No one had much faith that it would happen. Some hardcore fans never gave up hope but most of us had moved on. I speak of course about the decision to resurrect Arrested Development from the sitcom graveyard. Was it an initiative of the Obama administration? Perhaps. Anyway they're bringing it back for a final miniseries and then a film to wrap it all up. Apparently it's long delayed return was caused by Michael Cera who didn't want to get stuck playing the same character (cough cough).

But what made this programme so fantastic beyond the overwhelmingly clever plotlines, which despite getting massively convoluted halfway through somehow managed to tie together in a neat little package by the end of the episode? It was very much a character driven affair and every single character was awful. When I say I awful I don't mean they were bad characters I mean they were terrible mean-spirited cold people and perhaps that's why it ultimately failed. Maybe people found it hard to watch a family of assholes screw each other over at every turn. However, it's this writer's opinion that all the best characters are, for all intents and purposes creeps, bastards, grumps and curmudgeons in their own right.
So consider this a celebration of the best of the worst, the characters you love to hate. The top five television characters that need a serious kicking.

No 5. Jay Cartwright of The Inbetweeners. Who among us didn't laugh uncontrollably when sex pest Jay Cartwright talked about "waiting for the gash to form an orderly queue" or scream "BUS WANKERS" at a crowd of innocent commuters. Jay embodied that one mate who you can't quite figure out why is always invited out and he's probably not as exaggerated as we'd like to admit.


No. 4. Dr. Gregory House of House. A doctor with zero empathy, narcissistic and casually racist but an indisputable medical genius making house the doctor that everyone who has an undiagnosible disease asks for but after ten minutes of his patronising snarky attitude would rather the disease.


No. 3. Pete Campbell of MadMen. A shameless suck-up, disloyal, unparalleled delusions of power just an all-round pest. Pete Campbell was like someone who was trying way too hard to be Don Draper and failing on all counts. He never made it hard to dislike him intensely and that's what earns him a place on this list. He wins a few points for being able to bust a move because to be fair it was hard not to be impressed when he pulled out the fox-trot with Alison Brie.


No 2.  GOB Bluth of Arrested Development I could have comprised this list entirely out of Arrested Development characters but I had to pick one. Rarely has there been a character quite as selfish as GOB Bluth. Played to absolute perfection by Will Arnett, Gob was a shameless womanizer a bad     brother and worst of all a terrible magician.

No. 1. Ari Gold of Entourage. It was no contest for the number one on my list and and definitely a contender for my favourite character of all time. Ari said some things that I dare not repeat in this article should my mother ever read it. Loud-mouthed casually racist, sexist and homophobic (his gay Asian assistant really wasn't in the best environment), rude, impatient, offensive, Ari ticked all the boxes of a true asshole but for some reason it was impossible not to like him because damn if he didn't get results. But he's the number one on this list for a number of reasons, his joy in making others miserable "I used to love firing people. It was one of the perks of my jobs!" His sexism "fire a man you create a rival, fire a woman you create a house wife". He embodied every characteristic of the egotistic and when it came to the final episode, his was by far the best ending.